Race day is here and I’m equal parts excited and nervous. I googled what to eat for breakfast ’cause I’m not sure about this carb loading life (on purpose, anyway)… went with eggs & toast and took Margot to Dunkin for coffee like every other Saturday. The 5k wasn’t until 7pm so I decided to make it a self care day of sorts! Last weekend was action packed so I could totally use the chill time. I came home to put on a face mask and had an epsom bath bomb waiting in the wings. I laid on the couch & even took time to roll out my legs.
I checked the weather throughout the morning, there was about a 40% chance of rain (not all that encouraging for someone who barely likes running anyway). I thought to myself “you can’t control it so just get over it” and packed a dry pair of clothes for the car afterwards in case. The potential rain not to be outdone, I also started my period hours beforehand. I contemplated not even running, a wave of nausea came over me. Whether it was hormonal or me completely mind f*cking myself, I knew my thought process needed a 180. It’s only 3 miles and I have nothing to prove OR lose. The last 5k I ran was over 2 years ago. Although it was challenging, I remember feeling so good about myself afterwards and tried desperately to channel that energy.
I brought this card with me and used it as my mantra. This quote relates so perfectly to what goes on in my brain when I run. Even when there’s music pumping into my ears, I find a way to beat myself up mentally. I’m proud to say I did NOT let that happen during the run that evening. I started the race feeling great, when my pace evened out around mile 2 I could feel my quads start to heavy. Whenever I started to feel myself slip into negative self talk I chose to focus on my breathing. I stopped to walk twice during mile 3 but finished the race in a jog. When I saw that I completed in under 30 minutes I felt a sense of accomplishment.
I was reminded that whatever you continually tell yourself… you will start to believe. And I’m going to start believing I’m a runner.